00:00
00:00
View Profile Edward
Semi-Retired Professional Shitposter

29, Male

Justice

Tumblr

Joined on 11/5/05

Level:
28
Exp Points:
8,160 / 8,700
Exp Rank:
3,393
Vote Power:
6.92 votes
Rank:
Private
Global Rank:
3,069
Blams:
905
Saves:
1,869
B/P Bonus:
18%
Whistle:
Garbage
Trophies:
1
Medals:
77

Latest News

More

Some people look at a flag swaying in a breeze at the White House, and they say "that's America". Me, whenever I see an American flag hung in the window of a basement apartment, by guys with better things to do with their money than buy curtains, I say that's America to me.

In America, there are 51 states, or maybe it's 80 by now? Does England count? I'm not quite sure. The one thing I am sure of though, is if I am standing in a warehouse standing beside a time clock, and a guy is punching in for his best friend, who is too hungover to get out of bed, I'm standing in America: the makeover capital of the world. The place where a young man has to answer in his heart, a question: what do you love more, your girlfriend, or your car? And where that young man can buy a beat-up car for $300, but has to spend a thousand to insure it. Where else can even a paper boy can auction the film rights to a book?

A woman on an assembly line works out her overtime in her head to infinity. At the exact same moment, her husband gets into a car accident, because he's looking at a girl in a tube top. In America, where spelling doesn't count, people's pets do! Where else can a guy get a job riding a whale at marine land, but in America?

In America, a guy's girlfriend breaks up with him over the phone. So he gets a gun, and kills the Principal. Everyone is sad, until they get the day off. Next week, another guy, another gal, another "we can still be friends" phone call, uh-oh, the Assistant Principal gets it. And everyone's sad, because they don't get the day off. Because he's just the Assistant Principal.

America, a land of oppurtunity. Yes, that great lumbering beast that journeys tirelessly, stops only to eat a club house sandwich, pick it's teeth with a matchbook cover, and fall asleep with the tv on. Again, America, a place for Americans.


Recent Game Medals

1,520 Points

NuclearRocket 25 Points

Nuke Sydney

DHC2Beaver 25 Points

Take down the DHC 2 Beaver

Sailplane 25 Points

Take down the sailplane

BAEHawk 25 Points

Take down the BAE Hawk

AirbusA380 25 Points

Take down the Airbus A380

BroadcastHeli 25 Points

Take down the Broadcast helicopter

HH65Dolphin 25 Points

Take down the HH65Dolphin helicopter

Harrasment 10 Points

Crush an angry ground creature

Icarus 25 Points

Get burned by a sun

Abducted 25 Points

Get caught by a UFO

Latest Playlists

Edward doesn't have any playlists, and should go check out some amazing content on the site and start adding some!